Little Lalitha 

Delayed Reaction

Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you... Suresh and Christina had their baby!!!!!!!!!
Little Lalitha Kumar was born December 8th and named after Suresh’s mother who was the founder of Harvest India

She was quite a surprise because, well, she is a girl and S&C were certain it was a boy. She is just the sweetest thing.

Of course at 12 days old she doesn’t do much except sleep and eat. But the most interesting thing to me is bath time.

Lalitha was taken outside and given to Bashama who had her sari pulled up to mid-thigh and was sitting on a very low stool with her legs straight out in front of her and her heels on another stool. Bashama lathered up Lalitha while she was laying on her legs and at the same time another woman poured water on Lalitha. ***It’s hard to explain but it looked really cool. I will try to get a picture of it.

Anyways, just wanted you all to get a good look at Lalitha. Please keep her in your prayers as I believe God has great big things planned for her life.

Only 6 days until Rockharbor & Claire are here! Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

So Much to Lose Here in this Lonely Place

I was listening to Sarah McLachlan tonight while typing out applications for the vocational center I am setting up in the local red-light area. As I was writing out these women’s ages and what little info I could get out of them like what they want to learn, if they have children, and can they read and write. I realized that most are just teenagers and many were born and raised in the red-light area.

As I am placing their pictures next to their bios, suddenly I hear Sarah’s song, Fear (my favorite) in a whole new light. I really never thought the meaning could get any more heart wrenching than the meaning I first attributed to it but now…well, you tell me what you think.

You really should listen to the song if you can find it. But if you can’t here are the lyrics…

Morning smiles like a face of a new born child, innocent unknowing
Winters end, promises of a long lost friend, speaks to me of comfort

But I fear
I have nothing to give,
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace
There is nothing I’d like better than to fall
But I fear
I have nothing to give

Wind in time, rapes the flower trembling on the vine
Nothing yeilds to shelter it
From up high they say temptation will destroy our lives
The never ending hunger

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace
There is nothing I’d like better than to fall
But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose

*****************************************************************************
Please pray for these girls. Pray against the drugs and alcohol used to self-medicate. Pray against HIV and STDs. Please pray for the center; that it would be a place they feel the presence of Jesus, His love & His peace. Pray that through this center we might be able to bring these girls hope for a future and show them the value they have through Christ.
Also, if you could pray for me. I need wisdom beyond my education and experience as many of these woman are struggling with deep psychological issues, emotional instability, and severe illnesses. I really need the Lord to work through me, to touch these girls. Lastly, I will be going into the area at night to run the Night Care Center which is right in the midst of it all. I feel completely safe with the women but I don’t know about the “customers.” I stick out quite a bit and really don’t want to get harassed. So I guess what I am saying is please pray for my safety.

Thank you and I will keep you posted as things progress!!!

Me and Sudheer (Suresh�s brother) greeting the people at a relief camp
 

Crowds of people attend the relief camps 

Water pump submerged 

Here all you can see are the roofs 

This is how they live... 

An apartment in the red-light area 

All the Bombay Teen Challenge girls working for IPP and me 

Shabbana, Reca, Curan, Shubbnum at work making IPP pjs. How beautiful are this restored lives?!! 

Back Again (sorry to be gone so long)

So I know you wondering: where have I been for the last month. And I know some of your minds you’ve been thinking the worst case scenarios: she’s falsely imprisoned in some slimy Indian jail; she’s bedridden with malaria, abducted by aliens. But no; nothing so Hollywood chic as false imprisonment has kept me from writing. The Lord has been blessing me with good health and I am not lucky enough to be one of the chosen few to be abducted by aliens.

So what, you ask, has kept me from writing…I don’t know.

I have plenty to say (no comments) it has just been difficult to find the time. Since my last entry I have been to Bombay twice to help with the IPP sewing center at Bombay Teen Challenge. The district I live in along with a couple other districts were ravished by a cyclone that has left 1000s homeless and many more without work or food and 3 teams from the UK and USA have come to visit Harvest India (they are a refreshing blessing but a whole lot of work and stress).

So I guess I have some stuff to tell you guys.

The Cyclone
For those of you that don’t sit around and watch the worldwide weather channel you may not know that the area I live in, in Andhra Pradesh, was hit by a big cyclone. For 6 days it rained non-stop. We only had power for a few hours everyday and that was usually in the middle of the night. Although now I hate to admit it but it was a nice time; we ate dinner by candle light, played board games, and just stayed around the house (in a strange way it kind of felt like Thanksgiving or some family holiday). But now knowing what I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself as much…You see my district and the neighboring district became so flooded that many people lost there home and the laborers have no fields to work in as the vast majority of crops in our area were submerged by the water. This is extremely damaging because without work the people have no money to buy food.

Things are a little better now since the waters have almost fully retreated. We conducted many relief camps thanks to Rockharbor and a couple other sponsors like the UK team that was here with us immediately after the cyclone. In any case it will be a long time until things are back to normal so please keep my surrounding villages in your prayers.

Bombay
My trips to Bombay are always interesting and eye-opening. To start, it takes about 12 hours for me to get there and I am not exaggerating when I say it is literally a myriad of planes, trains and automobiles. The most memorable event of my October trip was my trip to the red-light area. Ena and I took a taxi through the district and were trying to get pictures (per IPPs request) but the residents of that area were not to keen on being photographed as you can imagine. We were struggling to get any good shots because the taxi driver wouldn’t slow down enough. After a picture was snapped it was like a signal went out, the women saw us coming and they didn’t like the view. They started screaming and chasing the car a few even threw rock (big ones) at us; one missed my head by inches and left a big dent in the taxi. After that the taxi driver suddenly decided to take a late lunch and made us get out of the car. He dropped us on the corner and charged us a bunch b/c of the damage. But God is so good!!! The LORD sent an angel in disguise as a taxi driver. He got out of the car and stood with us and let us sit in his car, he was on fire for Jesus and has an amazing testimony. He got us home safely and was a huge encouragement to us.

The highlight from the trip I just got back from was my opportunity to meet with Bombay branch of International Justice Mission. What an honor and pleasure it was to meet with individuals that are like-minded, passionate about justice for women and children enslaved in prostitution.

Its times like this that I feel like I have to pinch myself because 4 years ago I felt called to do something for enslaved women and children and here I am doing exactly that. And although I wish these moments would happen more frequently I am reminded that God’s timing and plans are always perfect.

TEAMS
The teams have been a huge blessing. It has been nice to have some strong and independent women to encourage me. Also, their excitement to see God moving helps to reignite the hearts flames.

The most exciting thing I can say about teams is that Rockharbor is coming in exactly 1 month. Which means, my best friend Claire will be with me in India in just 30 short days.

Oh, I can hardly wait.

I have made a paper chain to help me count down the days.

The Festival of Lights

Tonight is Devali (The Festival of Lights). From what I gather Devali is a time of celebrating good over evil which accord many years ago when god Krishna’s wife killed a demon. There are many different facets to it like most holidays but it appears most religious significance is lost. Now it appears to be what Christmas is in most American households a time to give gift, decorated houses with candles and lights, wear new clothes, oh and one more thing EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE sets off fire crackers. It is rather surreal so much so that I scrapped the entry I was working on (well postponed it) to tell you about this evening.

Everything was normal until 6pm (except for the incessant sound of exploding firecrackers) and then the fireworks started. You know how ephemeral fireworks are; they’re there and gone so quick and the show never lasts long enough. Well, that is not exactly the case here in India for Devali. As I write to you it is 10:25pm and the sounds of fireworks and crackers (or bombas as they are called here) are still thundering all around me. And anyone who has had the misfortune of sitting through a firework show with me can tell you I love fireworks; I get really awed by them. But after an hour of the resounding sounds of explosions and the glow of fireworks coming in every direction I just had to call it quits. But the spirit of Devali wouldn’t let me get away that easy.

At around 7pm the kids started lighting there little bombas and wanted my full attention. Yet that was difficult for me to do as the night seemed so foreboding. The loud cracking of the fireworks seemed to have thrown the bats out of sorts. Yes bats! There were these 3 bats that kept dive bombing at my head and into the trees and walls, it was weird; not to mention the frogs jumping around. I swear I am not making this up!!!! All though I have a fondness for bats and frogs it really set an eerie scene so I prayed that the bombas the kids were lighting were put together with more skill and craftsmanship than the last two pair of shoes I bought which I only wore for a week before completely falling a part. I was terrified that the fireworks might have been made with the same casualness and lack of attention to detail that seems to permeate through the entire textile industry in India. But all is well that ends well, right.

I am going to bed now…thank God for earplugs!

OK, OK, I will post something!!! Gosh….

But seriously I am so sorry for causing the mass hysteria. I had no idea how much you people loved reading my blog. Honestly, you guys are like addicts, “Stephanie, I need something, just give me a little story, anything you got.”

No but seriously this time, I am really touched by how many people wrote to me to check up on me and my adventures in India. I am sorry for keeping you waiting for soooo long; life has literally been out of my control. But I should have a couple good stories under my belt in the next couple days. So tell your friends to start checking the old blog again and I will try my best to make this wait worthwhile.

I love you all. Thanks for being such a great source of support for me!

Bride and groom�s first words to each other were their vows, yikes!
 

Once again we return to our regularly scheduled program... "India the Paradox."

We held a traditional Andhra Pradeshian pre-wedding ceremony. It involves, well no it is, a time when you smear the bride and groom with turmeric, a yellow spice, that's all. No one really knows why they do it but all said it had to be done. I think everyone was more excited about the turmeric fight that would inevitably occur before-during-or after the ceremony than the "ceremony" itself.

So on the day of the turmeric fete, the groom and the bride came over (separately of course). And they sat in separate rooms until their turn, where each one individual came out and was smeared with the yellow paste. It was a weird event we prayed for each one and then people took turns smearing some yellow on them while others ran around trying to smear other people with the turmeric.

And right in the middle of this impending wedding celebration, I heard a soft thud behind me. Moments later a young man came up to me and said, "Stephanie, look." He was holding a baby chipmunk that couldn't have been more than a couple days old as its eyes still hadn't opened. He had fallen out of his nest in the palm tree above and landed on the hood of the jeep. He was still alive and moving around a lot. For the next 15 minutes the young man and I cared for the little guy. I wasn't sure what the young man's motives were but mine were clear...guilt. Most of you may not know (b/c I sure didn't) chipmunks make the most annoying high-pitched chirping sound (hence the voices of Alvin, Simon and Theodore) and I have a palm tree right outside my door; yes, the very palm tree that Jr. fell out of. I didn't do anything directly to the poor little guy but I think a month or so ago I cursed his mother. You see, I was trying to write a blog entry and her chirping was SO loud and SO annoying that I just couldn't concentrate so I went outside and yelled at her. I told her, "If you don't shut up I swear I will get a BB gun and kill you and your offspring," and then I threw a stick at her to chase her away from the tree (and probably the little nest she was building). Seriously, I told her that and now I have her cute little boy dieing on the hood of a car... GUILT with a capital G!!!

So the young man and I brought Jr. milk and tried to feed him by dipping a stick in the milk and bringing it to his mouth (that didn't work so well). We tried to keep him on the jeep right where he fell so his mamma would come get him but then we got called away to the ceremony. So we left him for just a moment to go and celebrate the start of a new life of two young people. We were throwing the yellow around when we heard this loud chirp, as if to say, "Mamma or you two crazy humans...HELP!" We looked up and there was Jr. in the mouth of a crow. I screamed and almost fainted! The young man ran after the bird put it flew away with Jr. squirming and chirping in its mouth.
OHHH! I feel so terrible.
I sat there and wanted to cry but then I started thinking about how this one event seems like the most appropriate metaphor for India. A celebration and and tragedy all happening at the same time. And this was just a little chipmunk and a pre-wedding party.

Everyday a baby is born and abandoned or sold. Faithful wives die because they were infected with HIV from their unfaithful husbands. People die of Malaria even though the antidote is readily available. Children are dieing from dehydration caused by the water they drink.

India is a paradox.

A continuous spectrum of life.

Here nothing is hidden. Death, birth, sickness, celebration it is all out in the open. Sure they try to whitewash some things but all you have to do is pull back one layer of paint and you see the truth. The truth is not hard to find you just have to be willing to look.

Lately, I've been wondering if I should even look for the truth. India is hard enough to handle without really intentionally looking so I wonder and ask myself can I handle the truth? And all I hear in response is Jack telling me, "You can't handle the truth." And I know it is just Satan impersonating the over the hill movie star but I really wonder how did Mother Theresa do it? She was obviously a saint or something, and I'm just some white girl from Orange County, how can I possibly make any change here?

Now I know that this must sound so despondent but really I am ok. I promise! I am just sharing with you what I have been thinking about and which has to be a normal reaction to really experiencing a 3rd world country for the first time. I am not feeling hopeless or even considering giving up, I'm just wrestling with trying to make sense of it all.

Thanks for listening!

. 

You say scabies, I say scAbies. Scabies, scAbies, let’s call the whole thing off.

Yes, it isn’t pleasant, I know, but I have found it quite amusing. Amusing like one of those “dark comedies” you watch on a Saturday night when there is nothing else to rent and half way through you turn to the person your watching it with and ask, “I thought this was a comedy.”

We aren’t sure how I got it b/c they say a first-timer usually has “infestation” occur 4-6 weeks before the sores show up. And looking back now I can see I was showing signs that I could have been a carrier for up to 7 weeks ago (horribly itchy skin—one of the 1st signs of scabies). But it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I KNOW I came in contact with scabies when the doctor at the clinic had a little boy shake my hand before realizing why he was in the clinic…scabies breakout on his hand J So who really knows or cares how I got scabies, it is all apart of the developing country experience. And actually it has really helped me to empathize with the women enslaved in prostitution.
** The following may sound cheesy but it really has made this tolerable for me**
When my hands itch, I pray a prayer of thanksgiving that it is only my hands that are itching this badly. And then I pray for the women in Calcutta, Bombay, Madras, Hyderabad, Delhi who are trapped in a life that is infested with STDs, constant physical pain, and emotional scarring way beyond what I am experiencing. I am humbled by the life I was given and am thankful for the lesson I am learning through this.

So don’t worry about me…pretty much I just had to post this b/c I enjoy people laughing at my expense. And beside they say the itching will only last for 2 more WEEKS.

I also wanted to thank everyone that has posted comments or sent me emails or are just logging on to check in on me and my wacky play-by-play. I really do appreciate all the encouragement and support you are giving me.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

On the stage at J.D. Seelam's father's memorial. Can you find me?
 

Hebrews 11:1 faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.


The Memorial service for J.D. Seelam was well attended and I am sure it was very nice but I couldn�t understand what the people said during the 5.5 hours we were there. But seriously I was very honored to be invited, Mr. Seelam even requested I say a few words. Also to Mr. Seelam�s request we brought the Harvest India choir which was the highlight of the day.
We were scheduled to leave at 7am so I was dressed in a beautiful (borrowed) blue saree, hair washed and in place, coffee drank at exactly 7am. It was important that we leave ON TIME as stressed several times the day before by Suresh. And so I waited and waited. At a quarter to 8 we left although it was an hour drive and J.D. requested our presence at 8am. We arrived at 9:15 and no one noticed, so my anxiety ridden chest pains the entire way were all for nothing.

When the service finally started at around 10:45 someone decided that the rusty metal polls holding the tent up needed to be painted to look like the Indian flag. So as the choir is singing and dignitaries are coming in a man begins painting them. Only he realizes too late that there is no orange so he paints them red, white and green and they end up looking like the Italian flag. No one else thought it was funny but I got a kick out of it.

Mr. Seelam was so gracious to us. He brought us on stage to sit with all the big politicians and dignitaries and even had Suresh and Sudheer give a short message. You should have seen Suresh. He was like a LA scenester at his first Hollywood party; he kept looking over everyone�s shoulder to find the next VIP to talk with. He had a nice time and it helped to reignite old networks.

But seriously, what a miracle that we not only got to attend but were invited to attend. Mr. Seelam seems to really respect Suresh and even found out about Harvest India�s HIV/AIDS Center building projects and has offered to help as much as he can. Just the fact that he offered was nice but he followed up the next day to set a time to meet. We will be having a meeting with him on September 16 to discuss the building and operation plans for the 2 centers. God is amazing b/c up until now we had started to build (leveling the ground and building the compound wall) but we didn�t know how to proceed but God opened the door. He always does when his people step out in faith.

**********************Caution, Nonsense***************************
I mentioned it was a steamy day, right? Well, due to the steam and the huge amounts of dye they use to color their clothes I had quite the surprise when I came home. When I took off my saree I found that somehow though I was I alive it appeared that I was dead. My legs had turned blue; so blue it looked like death had set in. It was so bad I had to take a picture... Enjoy!
 

Seriously, look how blue my legs are!Reminds me of Arrested Development 

It Continues Like I Told You It Would

It happened to tonight… You know what they say…When you least expect it.

Yes that is right, the CREATURE, was avenged last night…da..da..da!

I knew his family of mutated indestructible slimy pests would not be satisfied until the laid their vengeance on me.

And so it was last night…

It was late as I crawled into bed, I pulled back the sheet, and tucked myself in.

Ahh, I forgot to turn off the lights (a strange thing I know—I think they were working some kind of mind warp on me).

I open my eyes and began to pull of my sheet and there right by my chin is a HUGE cockroach! (Not as big as its brother this one was only 2 inches as apposed to 3).

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh! I jumped out of bed grabbed my nearest flipflop and started whacking. I must have hit that thing 10 times but it didn’t want to die. Finally I squished it between two flipflops and threw it outside.

Now to go to sleep….
How do you go to sleep after that?
Most of you couldn’t sleep if you found a daddy longleg on your comforter.
Thank the Lord I have Jesus, is all I have to say. I prayed for the strength to close my eyes and fall asleep. And it worked, Amen!

Oh, you’re probably wondering about the sheet, right?
Did I get a new one?
No way, I did it Indian style; turned it over so I couldn’t see the mess and went to sleep.

Sweet Dreams!

Today is the last day of a 5 day celebration that marks the birthday of the Hindu elephant god, Ganesha. As I am writing to you I can barely hear myself think over the chanting, music played over huge crackling megaphones, fire crackers, honking horns, and the construction going on overhead. But life is good, electricity just came back on after 3 hours of blackout so I thought I would use this opportunity to tell you about the crusade we just did.

On August 23-27 Harvest India held its first of many crusades after the summer/monsoon break. God worked in miraculous ways at this crusade. Though this has been a relatively dry monsoon season the forecast during our crusade called for heavy showers. Praise God, for His control over the weather!. The first night showers broke out the minute we finished the closing prayer. On the last night, the audience numbered in the 10s of thousands and the sky began to open up and winds started to blow but after our prayers went up the wind subsided and the crusade finished without a drop of rain. What a powerful God we serve.!

During the day we would hold medical camps, mercy camps (handout food), and construct and dedicate water wells. I got to dedicate a well that a church from CA supported. These activities were strictly humanitarian as we always face adversity during crusades. Many forces were against us trying to shut us down but by the grace of God we triumphed. Many other crusades have been attempted by other pastors but failed, in fact, after the first night a pastor that had attempted one came and talked with Suresh until 1:30am about how he was able to succeed against all the persecution.

Suresh, his brother Sudheer and their PR guy ,Punna Roa, are amazing at networking and strategizing. You wouldn't believe who we had at the crusade; the PA to Sonia Gandhi.** You probably don't know him (I don't even know his name) but trust me he is HUGE in Indian politics, he came with 8 bodyguards with machine guns. And not only that, but he has requested Sudheer, Suresh, and myself to conduct his father's memorial service in a couple of weeks. Harvest India is finding amazing favor in the midst of a climate that is so intolerant of Christians-God is good!


*********************************************************************************
The following is for no real purpose. Just my thoughts...

For those of you who know me you will find this next statement hard to believe...

Indian food is soooo salty. I think the whole country has to be suffering from high blood pressure.

This has to be what is making me gain weight. Well, it could be the rice they force fed me three times a day in portions a sumo wrestler would have problems getting down.
But I really like to think the weight gain is b/c there is no Diet DrPepper here so I am stuck drinking Pepsi, not even Coke. If you find a Coke it is usually imported form the Middle East, which I found rather interesting considering there is a Coke factory down the street. But when I asked about this I was told that the government closed down the factory b/c it was putting pesticides in the soda. Sounds a little like a "rural legend" to me!

Anyway, I can rejoice in the fact that Jesus calls us to be the salt of the earth.

Love you!!!!

**Sonia Gandhi was married to the last Prime Minister after her husband was assassinated she became active in politics as the dual chief of the 113 year old Indian National Congress and its Parliamentary party.

Well Dedication. The people were so grateful and welcomed us with flower garlands and flower confetti
 

Medical Camp: Administering preventative meds for Chicoon Goonya (sp)
He was not happy to see me!
 

Mercy Ministry: When was the last time you waited in line for 1.5 hour for an egg, milk, and fruit? 

On August 7thI set out for Mumbai (Bombay). I had to catch a train into Hyderabad to catch a plane to Mumbai. I was taken to the train station by Joseph, Gedion, and Raj. They waited with me until my train arrived and then boarded with me to sit until the train was ready to leave the station. As the train began to pull away I thanked them and said goodbye to each one, �Goodbye Raj, goodbye Joseph, goodbye Gedion.� As they were leaving I had one of those strange moments when your imagination seems to get the best of you and I laughed as I felt I had been transported into the Wizard of Oz�and I�ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!

If only Bombay could have been paved with yellow bricks... Paved with anything would have been good; instead I sloshed through mud and muck all day. So to say the least it was a trying week. Everything that could go wrong did. But Jesus is so good. He continually sent little angels disguised as a Hindu shop owner, a hotel owner, ex-prostitutes, a helpful saree salesman (a true miracle), and a friendly dog (as my dog, Duke, died while I was in Bombay) to encourage me and my partner and help us along the way.

No, but seriously, I have never had a week like this in my life!!! It got to the point where you would just have to laugh and ask yourself, �How is it possible that one person could be this unlucky?� Just to give you an idea take a look at my trip home and keep in mind this is one day out of 10.
I had had plans to spend my last night in Bombay to be near the airport but being the thrifty person I am I stayed at my partner Ena�s house about 45 minutes outside of Bombay. Despite the fact that we were up at about 4:30am and left in plenty of time we hadn�t planned on the horrible road condition. The Swiss cheese roads, as I like to call them, were a result of the monsoon rains that were beating down on us all week and made for an awful case of car sickness. So our 45minute drive turned into two hours and even though I arrived at the airport 30 minutes before the flight was to take off, it left 40 minutes earlier than scheduled and left without me. The airlines would do nothing for me so I had to buy a ticket on another flight later that day. After checking my bags in at the ticket counter my shoes broke so I had to go barefoot in the airport. Later that evening in Hyderabad I had to wait on a street corner for 2 hours to get on a bus. I finally got on a bus at midnight and was home by 6:30am� just in time for a busy Harvest India day!:)

Though the trip at many times was difficult I am so thankful for the opportunity to have met Ena. She is truly an answer to prayer; now I have a real friend in India. She is a remarkable designer of women�s Indian dress but was called to move out of the city to work for Bombay Teen Challenge (BTC) where she is training girls, rescued from the red-light district, how to sew and design clothing. I would never have been able to complete my work without her! Check out the picture of us at a saree shop.

Also, the girls at BTC�s Ashagram (Hope House) were an amazing blessing to me. When you hear these girls stories and you see their beautiful faces you can hardly believe it: a teenage girl starting her life story, �Even when I was in my mother�s womb, she hated me,� and girls telling of when their parents and grandparents took them to the red-light area to �make money for the family.� But the most remarkable thing was the hope that now exists. These same girls that tried to kill themselves or drink excessively to numb the pain now have goals of owning their own tailoring businesses, going to college or seminary, and getting married. They now look at the future with hope and anticipation for what God is going to do in their lives. Praise the Lord for these beautiful restored lives!

 

Ena and I with Sunjay, our saree guy. Notice: when you buy sarees you sit on the floor and the salesmen throw the sarees in your lap. 

The back streets of Bombay. I snapped this picture during one of the few moments when the rain took at break. 

Some of the sweet girls I had the opportunity to get to know while at Ashagram. The are standing in front of a truck delivering the sewing machines and furniture purchased by Indian Princess Project (IPP). 

The beautiful Ashagram. BTC's House of Hope. 1 1/2 hours out of Bombay, it sits as a retreat from the dark and dirty Red-Light area. 

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep…

Once again I have an entry riddled with extremes. It is as if the Buddhist concept of ying and yang* was derived simply from observing the seemingly contradictory experiences one can have in India. But I guess it wouldn’t be India if it were any other way.

*Funny side note…Ying came up on my spell check—it wanted to replace it with yang. How can you have yang without the ying?!?

Last week I was walking through the neighborhood and came upon some baby chics. I picked one up and cuddled it---it was so cute. 2 minutes later I arrive home and there is Lazarus in the backyard killing a chicken for dinner.

Does irony ever stop being ironic?

Anyways, I was happy to have had the experience; now I truly understand the sacrifice made in order for me to eat. In the US, most of us take for granted that life was lost for us to eat. I told myself before coming to India that if I couldn’t at least watch a chicken be killed and help pluck the feathers than I didn’t deserve to eat chicken or any animal for that matter.
So I observed the killing process and then helped pluck the feathers. Just a couple hours later dinner was served. Did I eat the chicken…you bet! And although we don’t have meat all that often, when we do I am very thankful for it. See pictures below…

At times it feels like everyone in India is numb to suffering and death. It is always around whether it is the animals on the street or the street people. You start to ask yourself am I the only one seeing this? Am I going to stop seeing it someday? How do I deal with it now? And I almost get angry at the people I am with for not being outraged but this is their reality, it is all they have ever known. Should they see through my eyes or should I see through theirs?


Then there is the language barrier. It’s funny as soon as someone actually understands me, I feel misunderstood. I am so frustrated with my inability to talk to the people and to understand what they are saying, the jokes they are telling, and the prayers they are praying.
There is no way I can accomplish all that is expected if no one understands each other.

And on the rare occasion when they do understand, they either: think I am stupid and just repeat (over and over) some inane answer to placate me or they don’t trust me and go to Suresh to get approval.

How does that help facilitate administration?

Is it just ‘cause I am a woman?

Everyday is a new day of frustrations and I am trying to stay positive b/c the frustrations are so minor in the scheme of things but it sure is amazing how quickly they add up here in India.

“It’s funny how I feel so much
but can not say a word.
We are screaming inside… but we can’t be heard.”

Prakash and I and a couple of adorable baby chicks. 

Oh the irony...  

It was a little difficult at first but by the end I had lost the nauseous feeling and got pretty good at plucking the feathers